realniggaannouncements:

I had a dream last night that Jesus finally resurrected and when white people found out he wasn’t white they arrested him for 2000 something years of tax evasion  


(Source: tibets)


narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”


(Source: irwinsfletcher)


(Source: buymeoj)


(Source: cloud-head)



voidprinxe:

stop hating on girls who wanna kiss people in museums or aquariums or art galleries stop hating on girls who want things that might be cliche stop hating on girls who want boys to treat them like they’re magic i will protect all girls with my life and just because they care about things that you don’t doesn’t give you the right to belittle them ok i will fight u


(Source: mindykaeling)


at the start of the semester: i'm gonna get a 4.0 gpa
at the end of the semester: perfection is the disease of a nation...pretty hurts, pretty hurts

tinytmas:

Because Bianca the nerd didn’t notice that TMas has abs. So I had to make my point. And also for science and the pleasure of all of us, amen.


loliconprince:

making ppl u hate mad is almost erotic


(Source: eviecarnahan)


(Source: arryns)


nooffswitch:

Here we can see the magical potion all bisexuals must bathe in to maintain their powers.

nooffswitch:

Here we can see the magical potion all bisexuals must bathe in to maintain their powers.